Written after a darkness retreat of 7 full days and nights in pitch darkness...
I have written several articles about how the experience is to be in pure darkness for a solid week. However, I have not yet written about how the experience is to come out into the light after such a week. It is, yet again, another opportunity to write about non-sexual orgasmic experiences!
When we come out as a group, we first emerge in the evening so that the first time we remove our blindfolds we see by the light of the dark evening. We choose a place in nature and all remove the blindfolds together. The result is so moving, it can actually move people to tears. I remember this time experiencing a lurching through my heart, as if falling in love with existence. Yes, it is peaceful in the darkness and most people say they don’t want to come out after their week….but what makes it all worth it is the absolute beauty of nature. Life itself is worth living for.
We stood together in the dark eco-village resort gazing with wonder at the branches of the trees, carrying a certain presence of life and radiating peacefulness. People began to touch the leaves of the plants, to examine the bark of a tree up close as if never seen before. Gasps of “wow” and “ooh” and “ahh” as we see what we have seen a million times before for the first time.
That night we went back into our Darkness Bedrooms for sleep. At first when coming out, we go in and out a few times, or use blindfolds to rest the eyes from the light. This helps us to slowly get used to the light again. But I noticed that it is not only the light that is too much…I also noticed the effect of energy as I emerged from the dark.
As I walked out into daylight the next day, I felt bombarded with sensations, colours and visual stimulus. There were so so so many shades of green. As I looked from one bush to the other I had to gasp with delight. Each one was like a fast shot of energy into my system. Each colour moved energy within me, like a mini-orgasm. I was being opened up just by looking at a few green bushes!
I found myself breathing with the stimulation. Breathing in each colour; each leaf. And energy shuddered right through me. I felt somewhat self-conscious sat at lunch with a group of people who had not been in darkness (luckily all pretty open-minded as it was an Osho retreat centre). But I was becoming orgasmic from every vision, and sat in my chair with my lunch before me making gasping sounds every direction I looked. Though in many ways this is a sensitivity that many people would long for, at the same time it’s somehow not the most socially acceptable way to be!
I went back to my private darkroom again after lunch. Partly because I felt overwhelmed by seeing and feeling so much. I had started to feel a bit giddy with it all. I laid down in darkness and silence and decided to do a Taoist practice in which I brought the intense energy from the light together with the deep peaceful energy of the darkness. I merged them together in my belly, an energetic inner union. It felt amazing to unite these two opposites together, and totally tangible. It was like stirring two ingredients together, and they bonded well and formed an incredible strong presence.
I was intending to just store the fusion energy in my centre…that’s the technique anyway. But somehow the energy ball just went all the way through to my sacrum and created a fireball of energy there. Again, it was so tangible; I’m surprised it didn’t create a burn mark on the white sheets!
This fireball began to rise up my spine, clearing everything in its path. It was the most extraordinary energy experience. It went all the way up, over the course of a few minutes, to the crown and took me into a strong higher state. There was so much energy that I was held there for some time. I was in darkness, so there is really no way of knowing how long! It was a state of bliss, presence and peace.
This was such a wonderful way of shifting my perspective on reality. This retreat I really came to meet darkness as the Creator, and light as the Creation. As this light takes form, in its constant motion and flux, it creates energy. It moves energy. When we are open to that energy, the result is literally orgasmic! We live in an orgasmic universe. Orgasm is the movement of the energy of existence.
When we see energy flow, the result is pure beauty. This would explain why someone who is energetically alive is radiant and beautiful no matter what his or her physical features. Life itself is beautiful. Those who strive to attain “perfection” in some plastic superficial way will never have the beauty of someone really alive or of someone in love.
And of course, someone in full-body orgasm is tremendously beautiful. I notice that when energy surges, the heart often feels this as love. As if the heart cracks open. And when we fall in love we are alive with energy. The ground moves beneath us! And when we love someone we feel a delight to see them in orgasm…we literally make love together as we move energy.
So the mysterious beauty of energy was revealed as I came into the light. The orgasmic nature of existence was revealed. The connections between light, energy, orgasm and love were revealed. As the darkness gives birth to itself as light, an astounding miracles happens…and that is life itself.
© 2021. Shashi Solluna. All rights reserved.