It seems to me that many people are ashamed of living fully. Children just live whatever moves through them, tears, giggles, screams, silence. But soon the adults put a stop to any emotions that they themselves cannot handle. Think about when you’re trying to stop a child expressing some emotion…is it because you are not comfortable with that emotion in yourself? Is it that you are ashamed of it?
I look around and I see people closed down, tight, false, restricted..all social airs and graces, so space for any real feeling to move through. Stiff upper lip and all that…too cool to cry. Then I see the people who let go unconsciously, with drugs and alcohol to facilitate emotions, but no-one is present within to hold space for these emotions. What is gained? It seems to create even more separation; the separation of consciousness and feeling. I see those who escape life by meditating off in their proverbial cave, and claiming to be unattached to life. And when mama dies they have the nerve to say “I am not attached…it is just form. Nothing is eternal” because they don’t have the openness of heart to allow the tears to flow. Have they chosen enlightenment at the expense of their humanity? And is it worth it? Surely consciousness and life can be integrated.
Occasionally I see someone who lives; who allows all of life to be felt as it passes through. A person who is present with their own flow of feeling…a true meeting of shiva consciousness with shakti flow. I meet people who will show up for anything…my pain, your pain, my joy, your joy. There are people who stay present no matter what arises, and breathe it all in, let it all move through and taste it all as it passes by. Not just presence, but compassion. Not just seeing, but living.
But most people I see are too “cool” (or too “enlightened”) to let themselves go into feeling, or too unconscious to stay present as the emotions flow. Where did this ridiculous shame come from? And is it really serving anyone? Isn’t it time to get real? Isn’t it time for consciousness to fully embrace life? What have we got to lose by shamelessly living life in totality?
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